Building believing children

The Holy Spirit helps believers grow as disciples of Jesus who are becoming more and more like their Master. This includes believing children. As youth ministry workers, leaders and parents, our role is to serve with the Spirit in this vital process.

Love and instruction

In 1 Thessalonians 2:7-12, Paul compares his discipling work to that of parents with a child. Love is expressed toward the child (gentle care from the mother and encouragement and comfort from the father). In the context of that love is clear instruction (referred to as both sharing the gospel and urging godly living).

In this passage we see the environment and the content of the disciplemaking process. The environment, characterized by care, encouragement and comfort, is the positive relationship between the discipler and the disciple. The content of the process is instruction—the imparting of life-giving knowledge through teaching and training.

Following this biblical model, our goal in ministry to children is to provide Christ-centered, gospel-oriented instruction in the context of a positive, loving relationship. Without the positive relationship, the instruction will not have a lasting impact. And without the instruction, even the best relationships can be devoid of meaning.

Tailor instruction

It’s essential that we tailor our instruction of children to their level of emotional, social, mental and spiritual development. In that regard, the work of child psychologists can be helpful. For example, Jean Piaget observed that children tend to develop morally according to the following predictable stages.

Stage One: Premoral. At this stage, the child obeys in response to the command of a respected adult. Though the duty to obey is felt deeply, it does not emanate from within the child.

Stage Two: Heteronomy (4 to 8 years old). Literal obedience to the law is all-important at this stage. Heteronomy is a form of moral realism in that acts are evaluated in terms of disobedience to the law without regard for intent or motive.

Stage Three: Autonomy (8 to 12 years old). Reciprocity or mutual respect is the key in this stage. Justice is dominant, with intent or motive rather than law the determining factors. The influence of interpersonal relationships in moral development is vividly demonstrated in this stage.

The chart below distills the work of Piaget and other child psychologists and education specialists to provide information we can use in choosing instructional curricula and in guiding us in their use. (The chart is adapted with permission from Hands-On Bible Curriculum, Teachers Guide, fall 1994. Group Publishing, Inc., Box 481, Loveland, Colorado, 80539).

Wise (and effective) teachers and parents are careful to use methods of instruction that are in sync with these developmental issues. Don’t be discouraged—you don’t have to be a child psychologist to be an effective instructor of children—but you do need to care about children and be sensitive to their abilities and needs.

Our goal in all this is to help children in age-appropriate ways to experience Christ and to learn about him and his way. Because children develop the way they do, young children in particular learn more through experience than through verbal instruction. But words of instruction are important, too, because such words give children an internal language with which they can talk to themselves and thus comprehend these experiences.

Ted Johnston

Stages of development in children
	Grade (age)	Emotional development	Social development	Mental (cognitive) development	Spiritual development

	preschool/ (3-4)	generally happy influenced by the reactions of other youths sensitive to the moods and reactions of adults	generally play with same sex prefer short group experiences use language in dramatic play	can recall some facts and events can memorize stories, sons or finger plays have an attention span of no longer than 10 minutes	hear and enjoy Bible stories recognize their own church; develop sense of belonging at church understand that prayer is talking to God; pray simple, spontaneous prayers

	preschool/ kindergarten (4-6)	proud of their accomplishments have their feelings hurt easily beginning to gain self-confidence	learning to share and cooperate can understand and follow rules enjoy extensive dramatic play eager to please teachers and parents	can listen to and create stories can distinguish between real and pretend need simple directions -- understand one step at a time	understand that God made them trust that God loves them beginning to develop a sense of conscience

	first and second graders (6-8)	express feelings with physical action crave individual attention and affirmation are self-centered; each wants to be first feeling capable is directly related to self-esteem want everything to be fair; black-and-white sense of justice	usually prefer to stick to same-sex friendships thrive on organized games and group activities want to please teachers but are beginning to recognize their role in relation to their peers want to win and always be first; have a strong sense of competition with others	interested in concrete learning experiences such as dramatizations and rhythms have a limited concept of time and space; interested in the present but not past and future yearn for competence in developing skills	understand God's love and God's world through personal experience don't comprehend the spiritual nature of God; think of God as a giant/ magician/ invisible man don't comprehend the Bible's chronology except that the Old Testament comes before the New have a literal and concrete understanding of Bible stories and biblical truths; don't comprehend abstract ideas

	third and fourth graders (8-10)	feelings may be hurt easily sensitive to praise and criticism from adults developing ability to empathize with others	want to be part of a group enjoy extended group projects able to accept limited constructive criticism naturally avoid interaction with the opposite sex	most can read well like to be challenged but don't like to fail need to feel independent; don't always want help from teachers understand cause and effect; like to arrange and organize information	able to accept that there are some things about God we don't understand ready to relate individual Bible events to the scope of Bible history recognize the difference between right and wrong; able to make deliberate choices about actions

	fifth and sixth graders (10-12)	get mixed messages about being mature and accepting responsibility for choices and actions possible strong fears about losing parents, abandonment, rejection by friends, being a victim of violence or becoming ill	spend a lot of time with one best friend usually prefer to stick to same-sex friendships thrive on organized games and group activities strongly influenced by heroes and role models	well-developed critical-thinking and problem-solving skills beginning to question authority figures; prefer to reason things through for themselves interested in how past and present world events affect their lives	want everything to be fair want to test what they have been taught about God against their own experiences able to make choices about finding God's will and following it