I
have always found the story of the moon landing fascinating, so I was looking
forward to reading this account by Buzz Aldrin, the second man to set foot on
the lunar surface. It was not quite what I expected.
Aldrin is famous for his "magnificent
desolation" description of the lunar landscape. But the focus of this book is
not about his epic adventure 40 years ago. He gets that out of the way in the
first few chapters. He then tells the story of the not-so-magnificent desolation
his life became in the decade following the moon landing.
In a remarkably frank account he
describes how, after reaching the heights of fame and acclaim as a genuine
American hero, he allowed himself to become a drunken derelict. In his own
words:
"I…achieved the greatest success,
universally acclaimed as one of mankind’s most extraordinary achievements to
date, and then found adversity crouching at my door, waiting to trip me up.
Once entangled, I didn’t unwittingly fall into depression and alcoholism; I
took willful steps in the wrong direction, thinking I could turn around at any
point. But like a motorboat idling on the Niagara River, I soon found myself
being swept along, past the point of no return, out of control, drowning my
sorrows and disappointments in alcohol, and heading for the precipice and
ultimate destruction. Having been to the moon, I plummeted into my own
personal hell on Earth. Had it not been for some friends who cared enough to
call a drunk a drunk, even if he had walked on the moon, I might have
perished" (pp. 305-306).
Aldrin describes his collapse honestly
and candidly. It is a compelling story, and I found myself caught up in his
struggle, and wanting him to succeed. Eventually he does:
"Finally, in October 1978, I laid
down alcohol once and for all. My willingness to do so was not an act of
willpower so much as a coming to the end of my own selfishness. I had always
been self-centered, and because of my abilities or my intelligence or my fame,
people had let me get away with it. When I began to see myself for what I
really was, and had a group of fellow travelers who knew me for what I was—and
were not impressed—I began to take baby steps toward getting well. Along the
way, I learned that to truly keep something and hold onto it, you have to give
it away" (172-173).
What I thought would be a book about
outer space is more a story of the conquest of inner space, and I recommend it
to anyone who is interested in personal growth and development. If you are
struggling with an addiction or depression, you may find it particularly
reassuring. Buzz Aldrin shows how anyone—even a genuine hero—can become a
victim. But with courage, humility and the right support, you can face up to
your problem, and change.
Buzz Aldrin and Ken Abraham,
Magnificent Desolation: The Long Journey Home From the Moon. New York:
Harmony, 2009.